"You know, if you stay up late, you're just gonna make it harder for yourself." I looked at him, wondering why he seemed so concerned; why did he want to help me so much? I took a deep breath and replied, "Maybe, but I like it that way. I like the numbness that comes with being exhausted, the oblivion. The quiet chaos that exists only in my own head. Everybody elses problem are suddenly the farthest from my own, because I have things to deal with too. If I'm tired, I have a qualified excuse to keep to myself at home - to evade the constant problems that do not concern me, but I always end up falling into. Sometimes I don't even try to block things out, the exhaustion does it for me; and I like that."