If you stick with me long enough, you'll find I'm pretty contagious. I'm not saying this to be conceited, or maybe I am. However, you'll find yourself picking up my habits - my style. Let me tell you something, it isn't flattering. If I wanted someone that mirrored me in the way I am, I'd get a friggen mirror for a friend. The way I dress is cute? I know, that's why I do it. Do me a favor and don't copy me. It doesn't flatter me, and it doesn't do anything for you. Being like me won't make you a better person, it just makes you a fake. I was told for so long that I was just a carbon copy - so I got away from it. I found a niche, a style I enjoy and cherish. I made it my own, quirks and all. I don't need a puppy dog trailing behind me to see what I come up with next. Get a life, better yet, I'm sure you have one - just try to live it your own friggen way. K? Good, now that we've got that covered, and you're still interested - read on.
Okay, before we really get into it...into me, let me state this clearly: I. Do. Not. Need. Your. Drama. Nor do I want it. So, lets end this here. If you've got something to say about me, something you've heard - or something you want to spread. Go ahead and do it, I mean, really...be a five year old and try to play with someone. You're the one that looks like a retard in the end. But do me a favor, and try to smile back the words you want to spew and move on to someone else. It would be easier for the both of us. Still with me? Good.
I am, by no means, a girl with the heart of gold. If you know me, you know how honestly uncool I am. I am not smooth, in any sense of the word. I run into things, and I am clumsy. My clothes barely match, and I can make the best conversations uncomfortable. I am aware that there is nothing like experiencing failure at light speed, but I get over it quickly. I do not like being redundant, (repeating myself, for you invalids). I try not to waste time regretting actions, words shared, or lies found out in some sort of battle. I am the words you will use for comfort, but I am tired of feeling used and discarded. It is as if my hearts done doing it is time. I hate people who think harassing someone is going to get them what they want. It is like watching a human being suffer out of pure pleasure. Some times, I would like to be the one to disembowel their every emotion from their chest. Like they deserve them anyway. I am a music snob at best; it is not something you can easily relate to me by. I find bands that know my feelings better than I do, and I completely love it.
If breaking hearts, losing "friends", and making enemies happens - so be it. We all become what we hate some times - and it tears us down every time. Once you are hurt, your trust and faith in people slowly seems to deteriorate. I am the one that you will always want, but will never have the courage to fight for. I can supply a temporary cure for the aching in your chest, or the shiver that envelopes your body - but I am never good enough for more. I'm taking a little more time to finish finding myself; I've got amazing people backing me - and some I'm not so sure about (I'm slowly shutting you out, don't worry). If I could, I'd bundle up the ones I love and run away with them - I assure you, it wouldn't be very many. I've learned lessons the hard way, and that's the way I prefer to learn them - it makes repeating them less likely. I never meant to end up like this - this reinvention I have concocted. I get better; I get worse. I fall and I push.
I close chapters in my life when I know it's needed, and I make sure to mark them as mistakes. Usually, because that's how they end up. If I actually talk to you again, after we've stopped talking - it's generally not going to turn out the way you're hoping. I hate being lied to, and second chances with me are obsolete. I am learning to get over things so fast. And for that reason, I see and believe that society is going downhill so fast; I really cannot wait for it all to collapse underneath us. I'm suspended in excitement for all the people damning others because of the mutual tyranny of this friggen planet. My interests are hard to grab, and even harder to keep. Supply me with intelligent conversation, keep me on my toes, disagree with me - hell harass me even. Just don't waste my time.